Who Said This Game

Here's one of my favorite games to play with a group. Show them the quotes and they try to name the famous person who birthed the saying.

Some of these will be easy and others, good luck. An answer page is linked to this one at the bottom.

Let's get started!

“My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me, as we try to change it."

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. “

“A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.“

“A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.”

“Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. “

“I don’t create controversies. They’re there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention.”

“New York is great though. If you’re here and want a one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch of your assailant.”

“I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig. “

“The reason I went for Jenny Craig is I thought, Maybe I'm not the only one who has stupid reasons for getting fat. “

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. “

“The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. “

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. “

“I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too. “

“I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.”

“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. “

“A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.”

“I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.”

“Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.”

“Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”

“My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.”

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.”

“I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.”

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.”

“and now we're down to our last $37,000.”

“I taught them everything they know, but not everything I know.”

“I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.”

“I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”

“Nobody roots for Goliath.”

“Don't cling to fame. You're just borrowing it. It's like money. You're going to die, and somebody else is going to get it.”

“For the first time in the history of our country the majority of our people believe that the next five years will be worse than the past five years.”

“If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies'.”

“In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.”

“It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.”

“Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

“You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle.”

“If you would be singing like this two thousand years ago, people would have stoned you.”

“It ain't braggin' if you can back it up.”

“If you're hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You'll get the same kind of feeling and you won't have to pay.”

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”

“We will give the police safer bullets.”

“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.”

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”

“Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.”

“I only know two tunes. One is 'Yankee Doodle,' and the other isn't.”

“I never wanted to be famous; I only wanted to be great.”

“I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.”

“I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.”

“It's kind of fun to do the impossible.”

“If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'”

“My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents [the adults had to pay].”

“An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.”

“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.”

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

“If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.”

“I would always sing it (Take Me Out To The Ball Game), because I think it's the only song I knew the words to!”

“Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

“Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.”

“President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a governor who speaks German and a president who can barely speak English try to make themselves clear to an audience that's primarily Spanish.”

"Right after Trigger died, what did Roy Rogers announce he would do?"

???????? answered, "Dismount."

“After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.”

“I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”

“Let's face it, Americans are fat all year round, but the holidays are when we really hit our stride. And you can bet the food we eat will be just as unhealthy as the families we're forced to visit.”

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

“If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.”

“I think in twenty years I'll be looked at like Bob Hope. Doing those president and golf jokes. It scares me.”

“Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II...Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?”

“The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!”

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.”

“America is a country of inventors, and the greatest of inventors are the newspaper men.”

“Washington, D.C. is a city filled with people who believe they are important.”

“Are we having fun yet?”

“It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked.”

“And that's the way it is.”

“Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration.”

“Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.”

“If you look after the pennies, the dollars will look after themselves.”

“If Thomas Edison invented the electric light today, Dan Rather would report it on CBS News as "candle making industry threatened.”

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”

“The greater the lie, the greater the chance that it will be believed.”

“About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.”

“I know that you think you know what I said. But I'm not sure whether you understood that what you heard is what I meant.”

“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices take it, or leave it.”

“I used to believe the government was the answer to all our problems. But the . . . government, I've concluded, is now an insufferable jungle of self-serving bureaucrats.”

“It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference.”

“Sports is the toy department of human life.”

“In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.”

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”

“You win some, lose some, and wreck some.”

“There is nothing in the Constitution that authorizes or makes it the official duty of a president to have anything to do with criminal activities.”

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

“Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.”

To get the answers to who is responsible for these quotes,
click here for the answer page.

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