Turning 40 Jokes

Turning 40 Jokes are a fact of life. This is the first major hurdle one has in growing older so you on the special day deserve a little ribbing.

I royally enjoyed my surprise 40th party.

Someone gave me a pair of laughing underwear.

I looked for them one day and they were missing. OUt of panic, I looked all over the house for them. They were no place to be found. So I asked my family if they had seen my laughing underwear.

My daughter spoke up telling me she had taken them to her first grade show-and-tell. I never saw them again.

If you need to find some great gag gifts like my laughing underwear, check these out! You'll find something special I guarantee. These jokes below will give you lots of ammunition to roast your friend who's turning 40. They don't hurt; they just shock you into reality. If you truly want to see a great joke book, click here!

I remember on my 40th Surprise Party, my youngest daughter asked me, "When you were young, were you ever good look'in"?
There's something very special about hitting the 40 mark. Try to use some of these jokes to shower someone special on their Happy Day.

Very Usable Turning 40 Jokes

All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.

"Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
"No, only little babies."

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,
"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her 40th birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

"I guess I didn't get my birthday wish."
"How do you know?"
"You're still here!"

At 40, you get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.

At 40, before crossing a room you look both ways.

At 40, every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.

At 40, you suffer from Clue Deficit Disorder.

At 40, I realize that I was built for comfort, not speed.

"I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you."
"A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?"
"That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!"

Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday?
Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.

Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday.
Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.
Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?"
His employees replied, "No."
Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?"
"His employees replied again, "No."
Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?"
His workers responded, "A puppy."

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

When is your birthday?
17th January.
What year?
Every year!

At 40, your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

At 40, you sing along with the elevator music.

At 40, conversations with people your own age often become a duel of ailments.

At 40, if you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.

At 40, it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Next time, take off the candles."

Where would you learn to make ice cream?
At sundae school.

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

"My birthday's coming"
Do you know what I need?"
"Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"

“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake”. - Bob Hope

Getting old sucks, but it sure beats the alternative.

I'm not 40, I'm 18 with 22 years experience!

My own mortality will be the death of me yet.

Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.

It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Don't take life so seriously, it's not permanent.

Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

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Short Hilarious Jokes

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Master of Ceremonies Jokes

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Hilarious Jokes and Quotes

Turning 40 Jokes

Old People Birthday Jokes

April Fools Office Jokes

Clean Short Jokes

Funny Wedding Jokes

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Funny Redneck Jokes

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One Line Clean Jokes

Funny Doctor Jokes

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Little Johnny Jokes

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Valentines Day Jokes

Christian Clean Jokes

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