Places Not To Fart

This page of funny lists summarizes places not to fart.

All of us have been caught with a gas bubble growing in its intensity, holding us hostage as we don't know where the release will occur.

The places on this list will result in one thing if you try to access them....

You'll get busted!

Exactly what level of embarrassment do you feel comfortable with?

As you’re leading a group discussion.

Asking the reference librarian for help.

At a job interview (when they ask for your strongest skills).

At a funeral, between the music and eulogy.

At church, while your nephew is baptized.

At the altar.

At the gym, in a row of treadmills (nobody can run away!)

At the Gynecologist.

Bending over to pick up your music at rehearsal.

Crossing the stage to get your diploma.

During a four-legged potato sack race.

During a ransom video when you're a terrorist's hostage.

Carlin on Farting

During a test at school.

During a white power rally.

During takeoff of a lunar space mission (you're stuck with these guys for months).

During Yoga class.

During your first dinner with your date’s parents.

During your video personals ad.

In a canoe with a rusty bottom (it's likely to sink).

In a coffin, at your own wake.

In a crowded subway car.

In a hot tub just after the jets power down.

In a rental car just as you return it for your checkout.

In American Apparel pants (so tight, the fart will get stuck like a bubble).

In an elevator just as it gets to your floor.

In Santa's lap.

In the ball pit at McDonald's.

In the car by a garbage dump so you can't roll down the windows.

In the lunch line.

In the MRI tube.

In the spinning anti-gravity box at the carnival.

In the voting booth.

Into a zip-lock bag for later use as a self defense weapon.

Into somebody's tuba.

Just as you're being shoved into a jail cell and fall in the arms of an angry male prostitute.

On live TV.

On stage, while pretending to be asleep, quiet or dead.

The Toot Tone

Over the intercom at Walmart.

Taking a private music lesson.

Under the covers.

When they stop you at customs for some questionable items.

When you think you’re alone in public…but surprise…you’re not.

When your wife asks you if she looks fat in her wedding dress.

When you're a human statue on the street.

While bending over to shake hands with a short person.

While having a nice time with your dream girl for the first time.

While having a nice time with your dream girl for the last time.

While leaning over someone at a computer in order to help her.

While meeting your biological parents for the first time.

Funny Farting Videos