People That Annoy You

People are going to annoy you. Nobody is immune from being annoyed by a friend, family member or someone out in the public.

How you deal with the effects of these people controls your level of immunity against annoyance. Here's a list of people that annoy you.

People who are so totally perfect that you would love to hate them,if only they weren't so nice to you all the time.

People who think they can sing, but who really can't.

People who chew with their mouths open.

People who nasally end phone calls with "mmmmmbyebye."

People who laugh at their own jokes before they've actually reached the punchline.


People who say "nucular" instead of "nuclear."

People who talk loudly in public places about their personal problems.

People who make a stupid face when they don't understand something, and who consequently are making a stupid face all the time.

Salespeople who latch onto you and follow you around the store, asking if they can help you, until you either give up and buy something, or go nuts and beat them to death with a display rack.

People who have taken it upon themselves to cheer up the world, whether the world wants to be cheered up or not.

People who, even if you pulled a gun on them, would not be able to wrap their minds around the concept that you really don't like them.

People who put gum on desks and bus seats.

Unfunny people who really believe that they have wonderful senses of humour.

People who say "That's besides the point."

People who talk baby-talk.

People who are so determined to be politically correct that they are no longer able to finish a sentence without the aid of a lawyer.

People who try to convince you that the world is really a wonderful, sunny, cheerful place, if only you look at it right.

People who, when talking about a single hyptothetical person, will attempt to be politically correct by using "their" or "them" instead of "his" or "him", thus rendering their sentences grammatically incorrect.

People who give fruitcakes as serious Christmas presents.

The people who got picked first for sports teams in elementary school.

Mothers who let their children run around screaming in stores.

People who eat bad-smelling food, such as tuna, in crowded areas.

People who sit in a public place and pick things out of their hair.

People who repeat themselves.

People who repeat themselves.

People who mow their lawns at 8:00 on a Sunday morning.

People who keep talking and talking and talking when you feel like sh** and don't feel like talking to anyone.

People with annoying voices.

People who seem to be unaware of the fact that they have terrible B.O.

People who don't realize that it's rude to pick your nose in public.

Whoever invented underwires.

People for whom it is clearly a major effort to maintain their shaky grasp of the incredibly obvious.

People who believe that making bad puns is the same as having a sense of humour.

People who ask you a question, and then, exactly one nanosecond later, answer it for you, claiming that you're not thinking fast enough.

People who think they can prove or disprove the existence of a god.

People who chew watermelon gum.

People who use the word "seriously" in conversation, regardless of whether or not you show any signs of disbelieving them.

Little skinny people who complain loudly about how embarrassed they are to have to buy jeans that are about 4 sizes smaller than the ones you're wearing.

People who answer rhetorical questions.

Sports commentators.

People who sell religion door-to-door.

People who don't know that they have bad breath.

Martha Stewart.

People who actually buy said pictures, and hang them in their living rooms, and think that this means that they are cultured.

People who let their cats run loose and get into everyone's garbage.

Whoever decided that The Merchant of Venice was somehow inappropriate to study in school.

People who answer rhetorical questions incorrectly.

People who constantly drive at 70 km/h, whether the actual speed limit is 50 or 100.

People who prove on a regular basis that yes, there IS such a thing as a stupid question.

Newscasters who smile in a cheerful and friendly manner as they tell you about various recent disasters that have resulted in fatalities.

People who, halfway through the school year, find in their locker a thermos that has been there since the beginning of the year, and then, god only knows why, decide to open it, thus exposing the world at large to the smell of mouldy chicken noodle soup.

People who pick their teeth in public.

People who call others on the phone and greet them by saying "Hi, who's this?" as though they you called them!

People who talk to television and movie characters, as if the characters can hear them.


People who read the previous category and are now going "huh?"

Rabid Christian Vegetarians

Anyone who has found himself on this list and is writing me a snotty letter in response.

Rat boy. (Again, if you don't know, don't ask)

People who tell you the ending of a movie before you've seen it. (Anthony Perkins is his own mother!)

People who mindlessly send on every pointless forwarded e-mail that comes their way.

People who borrow your coat, and then return it with kleenex in the pockets.

People who tell you you have emotional problems.

People who call and you say "I am eating dinner.." and they call back 5 minutes later. Hmmm and did I not say I was eating?

People who meow Christmas songs in May. (Yes, I actually know people who do this.)

People who ask when you say "don't ask."

Mothers who wash their children's faces with spit.

People who latch onto you and rant about everything they can think of until your ears bleed.

Whoever invented Valentine's Day.

People who make grammatical mistakes while complaining that no one uses proper grammar anymore.

People who are able to recite entire episodes of the Simpsons.

People who pronounce the word "film" with 2 syllables.

Phys. ed teachers.

People who will quite cheerfully pronounce all foreign words as if they were in fact English words, and then look confused when you try to correct them.

People who call and let the phone ring twice.

Haughty little receptionists who ask your name by employing the following phrase: "And you are...?"

People who send you eight billion icq messages in a row while they're in "do not disturb" mode, so that you have to read their stupid little "do not disturb" message every time.

People who hum.

People who talk to you as if you were 4 years old.

Anyone who has ever said "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

Talk Show Hosts.

People who wear size 5 shoes.

People who wear so much perfume that there is an actual visible cloud of it all around them.

People who show up wanting to buy cigarettes from Rob.(If you don't know, don't ask.)

Vaccuum cleaner salesmen.

People who look over at your meal and then, just as you are lifting your fork to your mouth, say in an irritating tone of voice, "Oh, you're not going to eat THAT, are you?"

Fashion designers.

People who try to hum or sing along with elevator music.


People who meow.

Little children who seem to be spending their entire summer vacation standing around in their yards and screaming at the top of their little lungs.

People who use "times" as a verb, when they mean "multiply."

Morning people.

Relentlessly cheerful people.

Whoever first came up with the concept of Barney.

Tall people who sit right in front of you in theatres.

People who appear to have had their senses of humour surgically removed.

Dentists who try to have a conversation with you while they are working on your teeth and you can't respond.

People in your music class who say things like, "Oh, can we do theory today, sir?"

Anyone who is attempting to analyze my personality based on this list.

Whoever invented high-heeled shoes.

People who own a small dog, and treat it like it's their child, putting stupid sweaters on it and taking it with them everywhere they go.

People who tell long, elaborate jokes that seem to go on forever, and then mess up the punchline.

People who arbitrarily turn nouns into verbs.

People whose response to any event is to search around for someone to sue.

People with poor personal hygiene.

Mothers who are somehow able to ignore the sound of a small child repeatedly shrieking "mom!" in the middle of a department store.

People who say "Hot enough for you?"

People who cannot or will not acknowledge the fact that cats are basically evil.

Vegetarians who are smug about it. (celery is a living thing, too, you know!)

People who develop a totally new outlook on life every couple of months, and then feel compelled to tell you about it in great detail, whether you want to hear it or not.

People who sit near you in movie theatres and loudly point out obvious events in the movie as they occur

People who talk to malfunctioning vending machines, like it's suddenly going to turn out that the machine really CAN sell them a chocolate bar, and it was just waiting to hear the magic words.

People who whistle tunelessly.

People who catch onto jokes just slightly later than everyone else.

The so-called "artists" who paint those pictures of vases of flowers and cross-eyed cats that are available in fine shopping malls everywhere.

Whoever first decided that kindergarten students should have to make pictures by gluing pasta onto cardboard.

Those people who are always making craft-type projects, and who consequently are always urging people to save things that are obviously garbage, such as egg cartons and pistachio shells.

People who insist on giving you gardening advice, whether you want it or not.

People who come into a room and yell "What are you doing" when it is obvious what you are doing and they really want to know why you are doing it.

People for whom whatever Oprah Winfrey has said recently is a major influencing factor in decision making.

People who send forwards without bothering to delete the 7- or 8-thousand accumulated ">"s.

People who are far too serious about collecting beanie babies, pokemon cards, or decorative plates.

People who correct your grammar and pronounciation and who urge you to do the same because they want to be well-spoken but are obviously annoyed with you when you do.

The do-I-look-fat girls who ask only to hear that they're not fat.

People who continuously call you ALL THE FREAKING time and don't get the hint you DON'T want to talk.

People who call, and when you say "I'll call you back" they go ahead and call you 90 million times instead.

People who call you and somehow relate spinach to monkeys.

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