Holiday Jokes

Holiday Jokes put plenty of ammo in your pocket if you like supplying jokes for holiday parties or family meals.

My family loves jokes and I love telling them at all our family functions.

Some of you may need a few for your inventory.

You can tell these anywhere you like and get plenty of laughs.

Valentine's Day Jokes

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweler's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweler inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'

The jeweler smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

There's plenty more of these at:
Valentines Day Jokes.

Funny Halloween Jokes

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?


Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?

Because they don't have any body to go out with.

There's many more of these at:
Funny Halloween Jokes.

Thanksgiving Jokes

Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling off?

The buckle was on his hat!

Jolene was only eight years old and lived way out in the country with her parents who rarely entertained any visitors. One day Jolene's mother said that her father was bringing two guests home for Thanksgiving supper.

After they had enjoyed the turkey, Jolene went to the kitchen to help her mother. She proudly brought out the first piece of pumpkin pie and gave it to her father, who then passed the plate to a guest.

When Jolene came out with the second piece and gave it to her father, he again gave it to a guest. This was too much for the little girl. "It's no use, Daddy," she cried. "The pieces are all the same size."

The large collection resides at:
Thanksgiving Jokes.

Clean Christmas Jokes

Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

' What denomination?' asked the clerk.

'Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?' said Maria, 'Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please.'

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said,

"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

This large, festive gallery can be viewed at:
Clean Christmas Jokes.

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