Good Fat Jokes
Good Fat Jokes can bring laughs to any presentation especially if the presenter is a little heavy. This way you're laughing with them, not at them.
It has always been very easy for me to use some good fat jokes in my presentations.
I'm heavy, was born heavy, and will probably remain
The real trick here is to tell a fat joke that is funny, not embarassing. Nobody takes very well to being humiliated in public.
I'm used to it however. Years ago, I was driving the church bus taking the choir on a weekend outing. On Saturday morning everyone wanted to go shopping in one of the large malls. I dropped them off and then had to go park the bus 2 miles away. My 5 year old asked me if I was going to do some shopping. I told her no since I was hard to fit. She said to me in her totally honest manner, "Well I saw a Big and Fat Man store in the mall."
I corrected her with the "Big and Tall"
There's a really good joke book available on the web. Over 460 pages of pure laughs with bonuses. See it by clicking here.
Let the jokes begin. Here are some hand-picked fat jokes for your use and enjoyment.
Yo mamma is so fat she was diagnosed with flesh eating bacteria and the doctor gave her 87 years to live.
Your mum's so fat she doesn’t need the internet; she’s already world wide.
Kelly is so fat, he shows up on radar.
Seriously though, Judy isn’t fat, she insists she’s just 4 feet too short.
Yo mama is so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama is so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama is so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Two fat girls were walking, when the bus came. One says to another : “ Is it my turn to ride on a bus today? “
You're so fat, Goodyear wanted to fly you over the Superbowl.
Yo mama's so fat, she was attacked by Japanese military, they thought she was Godzilla's wife.
Yo mamma is so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Yo mamma is so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington’s nose.
Yo mama is so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
Yo mama is so fat, she got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack.
Yo mama is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo momma's so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or Meatloaf!"
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get to her GOOD side.
Also, there was the time Paulette fell over in the sand and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up. She was eventually awakened by a lifeguard who asked her to move back because the tide was waiting to come in.
The rather broad lady showed up at the theatre just before theperformance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where'sthe other party?" asked the usher."Well," said the lady, with a blush, "you see one seatis a little small for me and rather uncomfortable so I boughttwo. But they're both really for me.""Okay with me, lady," the usher replied, scratchinghis head. "There's just one problem. Your seats are numbersfifty-one and sixty-three."
Your Mama's so fat she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!
Your Mama's so fat that folk exercise by jogging around her!
Your Mama's so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
Your Mama's so fat she makes Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie.
Your Mama's so fat NASA plans to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer.
Your Mama's so fat she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm.
Your Mama's so fat small objects orbit her.
Your mama's so fat she makes olympic sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!
Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
One guy was so fat, he had his own area code.
You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.
Kelly is so big, he plays hopscotch like, "Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania..."
She is so fat NASA plans to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer.
She's so fat when I tell her to haul ***, she's gotta make two trips.
She's so fat when she passed gas she launched herself into orbit.
Yo mama is so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
Yo momma is so fat she stepped on the scale and it said one person at the time.
Yo momma is so fat when she fell in love, she broke it.
Yo momma's so fat that when she walked by the TV set I missed 3 seasons of Laguna Beach.
Yo mama is so fat when she opens the fridge it says I give up.
Yo momma is so fat when she gets cut she bleeds gravy.
Yo mamma is so fat when she goes swimming the whales start singing "We are Family".
Yo momma is so fat if she buys a fur coat, a species will be extinct.
Yo mummas so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling Godzilla Godzilla.
Yo mama is so fat she sat on a dollar and made four quarters.
Yo mama is so fat her college graduation picture was an aerial shot.
Yo mama is so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
Yo mama is so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
Yo mama is so fat Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction.
Yo mama is so fat when she went to McDonalds they offered her a group discount.
Yo Mamma is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo momma is so fat when God said let there be light He told your momma to move.
I know a lady named Paulette that is so fat she has to wake up in sections.
And then there is Judy. She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.
But Paulette takes the cake. Once she jumped into the gulf here in Panama City and the tide came in at Myrtle Beach.
Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to KFC, she asks for the bucket on the roof.
Yo mama is so fat she stepped on a Nintendo Gamecube and turned it into a Gameboy.
Yo mamma is so fat, she fell off the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo momma is so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.
Yo momma is so fat when I said I want pigs in a blanket she got back in bed.
Yo mama is so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama is so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama is so fat she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama is so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama is so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
Yo mamma is so fat she broke your family tree.
She is so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
She's so fat she wears an asteroid belt.
She's so fat when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.
She's so fat she makes Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
She's so fat her belt size is Equator.
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Taxi Not rated yet
Your momma so fat when she wears a yellow coat people shout taxi
m&m's Not rated yet
Yo momma so stupid she trys to put her m&ms in alphabetical order
Tsunami suck fat Not rated yet
Yo mamma is so fat, she jumped off Victoria Island and caused a worldwide Tsunami
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