Funny Redneck Jokes
Share

What is meant by the word "Redneck"? Is it a person, a style or an attitude? Yep!

You have probably seen the show where the phrase, "You might be a Redneck if"..... is used.

Rednecks can be people from all income levels that have a unique way of dressing, talking, partying, workin' and drivin'.

Funny Redneck Jokes poke fun at a niche of people labeled as Rednecks.

These folks are not only in the South, but all over the U.S.

Every family has some Rednecks in their rosters.

I bet you know one too. Sometimes, we all are one of the club.

Find alot of your redneck jokes in this e-book.

If you want to do a little redneck shopping for hats, bumperstickers, funny money, political toilet paper, etc. visit our redneck general store!




Redneck Inventions



Symptoms That You Might Be a Redneck:


You know several people who have hit a deer.

Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.

You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

You measure distance in minutes.

You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.

“Vacation” means going to the family reunion.

You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”

You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, Summer, Still summer, and Christmas.

You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

You think that deer season is a national holiday.

You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”


Here's a Redneck Camping Guide


Check out these funny redneck pictures!

You’re An Extreme Redneck When,


Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

Your 14 year-old daughter smokes at the dinner table in front of her kids.

The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your junior prom offered day care.

You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
____________________

East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
____________________

Here's some Redneck Hunters



Don't throw out yer feller's drawers when the skidmarks don't wash out no more. Just cut the crotch out and wear 'em.

Redneck Tubetop



Recycling at its best...On the other hand...$6 for a three pack is a good price!!
____________________

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '86 Dodge Diplomat
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The spa n is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
____________________

Redneck Hunting



You Might Be a Redneck if:


You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don'twant it.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your grandmother has Ammo on her Christmas list.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You have used a rag for a gas cap.

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because your fathermade it.

You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say CoolWhip on the side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
____________________

U.S.R.S.F.
(United States Redneck Special Forces)




These boys will be dropped off in Iraq with only the following facts about terrorists:
1. Season opens today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
____________________

Please use the link pad below to quickly view the many pages of jokes.

Short Hilarious Jokes

Obama Jokes

Best Short Jokes Ever

Master of Ceremonies Jokes

Good Fat Jokes

Italian Jokes

Hilarious Jokes and Quotes

Turning 40 Jokes

Old People Birthday Jokes

April Fools Office Jokes

Clean Short Jokes

Funny Wedding Jokes

Clean Blonde Jokes
Clean Christmas Jokes

Funny Redneck Jokes

Teacher Jokes

Old People Jokes

One Line Clean Jokes

Funny Doctor Jokes

Funny Lawyer Jokes

Little Johnny Jokes

Cop Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes

Jokes for Children

Valentines Day Jokes

Christian Clean Jokes




Return from Funny Redneck Jokes to Short Hilarious Jokes

Have You Got a Great Joke You Would Like to Share with Us?

We all would love to hear your best joke. Share it with all of us. If you'd like, I'll put a page together featuring YOU and your best jokes. Folks can find their own personal pages on YOUR PAGES off the Home page.

Give your joke a good title.

Write the joke as if you were telling it to us live.[ ? ]

Upload 1-4 Pictures or Graphics (optional)[ ? ]

Add a Picture/Graphic Caption (optional) 

Click here to upload more images (optional)

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

Your Name

(first or full name)

Your Location

(e.g., City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

Check box to agree to these submission guidelines.


(You can preview and edit on the next page)

What Other Visitors Have Said

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Redneck Joke 
You may be a redneck if you ask your father for your high school sweethearts' hand in marriage.

Click here to write your own.