Funny Mothers Day Quotes

Funny Mothers Day Quotes honor our Moms in cute, funny tributes. Only good things can be said about our Moms no matter how they may be wrapped. Your Mom is portrayed in here somewhere.
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"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young."
~ Author Unknown

"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."
~ Phyllis Diller

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
~ Mark Twain

"A mother who is really a mother is never free."
~ Honore de Balzac

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after"
~ Peter De Vries

Some are kissing mothers, and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.
Irish Proverb

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
Aristotle

There are three ways to get something done: hire someone to do it, do it yourself, or forbid your kids to do it !

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."
~William D. Tammeus.

"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
~ Buddy Hackett

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."
~ Tenneva Jordan

"I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along."
~ Groucho Marx

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.
Irish Proverb

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.
Graycie Harmon

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.
- Author Unknown

"Mothers are all slightly insane."
~ J.D. Salinger

"Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease."
~ LisaAlther

"To the world you might just be one person, but to one person you might be the world."

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.

"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."
~ George Bush

Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that.
Golda Meir

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
~ Phyllis Diller

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
~ Calvin Trillin

"My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay."
~ KareemAbdul-Jabbar

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."
~ Groucho Marx

"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."
~ Helen Rowland

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life."
~ Author Unknown

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.
Haim Ginott

"Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law."
~ Japanese Proverb

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
Sophia Loren, "Women and Beauty"

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
~ Chinese Proverb

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
~ Oscar Wilde

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
~ Calvin Trillin



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