Funny Classified Ads

Funny Classified Ads offer anything imaginable that needs selling, moving, hiring or eliminating. This section is as much fun as any joke book.

Learn how to recognize these mistakes before press time and you can land the Lead Proofreading Job for any major publication.
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What about the 1st Thursday of every Monday?

I prefer walnut or teak.

Does it have stairs and windows?

Training given at Wal-Mart.

When did the new ones show up?

I like antiques and this is old.

Keeping parenting fun and fresh.

I'd choose the easy-off model.

I live on one of these.

Illiterate applicants interviewed first.

Hey, new stuff for our ebay business.

Would he recite a few lines from his most recent work?

Hey kids, look what I brought home.

All questions answered quickly.

Speak with Allen's Mom, not Allen.

We have his matching bowls and cups.

Just read the manual before you clock-in.

Will come to the bell.

Mean little jumpers.

Gotta work your way up in this one.

Should have gotten her a push mower.

Let it read the manual too.

Comes when you yell and flap your arms.

These dogs are rally smart.

I just need the experience.

Maybe try a teacup poodle.

Pretty big drawers, huh.

From those against the stinking educational system.

Must be able to multi-task.


Writin also required.

Now don't be rude.

What about the one with the rope pull start?

Looks like a fun a fast paced job.

And needed 6 days per week.

I'll take the $175 model please.

Either one is fine.

Now about the dad's portfolio.

I'll take Susan B. Anthony for $100.

Now here's an opportunity you don't want to miss.

Are there any dents or scratches visible?

I just needed the tree by itself anyway.

This piano needs therapy.

Give me the unwrapped side.

Will these make it through the dishwasher?

Somebody better explain how this works.

We want our gift back.

I'm not desperate, but...