Funny Excuses

You know one of the golden rules.

If you really don't want to do something, any excuse will do.

We give funny excuses all the time to everyone we share life with: Teachers, Doctors, Policeman, Family, Co-Workers, The Boss, etc.

This collection of excuses captures the human mind at its very best as the most believable funny excuses are generated.


Funny Police Excuses

"My wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn't stop because I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me."

One day I was driving to school and I was late for classes. I was pulled over by a Policeman that obviously worked graveyard and said to me. "I've been waiting for you all day." To which I replied. "I got here as fast as I could Officer!"

Old lady doing 88 in a 25 zone.... "I was checking to see if my muffler was leaking"

View all types of funny excuses given by drivers to the patrolman by clicking the link below.

Funny Police Excuses


Funny Parental Excuses

"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

"Bob was late for school today because his little brother replaced the milk in their cereal to Crazy Glue and Bob’s mouth stuck together and we needed to melt the glue."

View all types of funny excuses given by parents to their children's teachers by clicking the link below.

Funny Parental Excuses


Funny Excuses For Not Doing Homework

"Please excuse my son for doing so poorly on the test. The hour he puts aside to do homework and studying every week was lost when the clocks "sprung forward" over the weekend."

"My mom's whooping cough vaccination wore off and we had to go to the hospital."

"Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked."

View all types of funny excuses given why homework assignments could not be completed by clicking the link below.

Funny Excuses For Not Doing Homework


Funny Excuses For Being Late

“Do you know how long it takes to give a dollar to every Santa you see?”

“I have a bit of a slight problem. I got the end of a Q-tip stuck in my ear and have to go to the ER to get it removed.”

“I was dreaming about a basketball game, and it went into overtime.”

View all types of funny excuses given why people are late by clicking the link below.

Funny Excuses For Being Late


Date Excuses

“The man on television told me to stay tuned.”

“I'm attending the opening of my garage door.”

“My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.”

Here are tons of excuses for you to use when you need to get out of a date quickly.

Date Excuses




I'm adding new material each week as it crosses my desk. Subscribe to the RSS Feed and keep up on all the new stuff just after it uploads.

Consider subscribing to my monthly newsletter, "Dave's Funny World."

It will give subscribers a sneak peek of funny things with some surprises to boot.

To subscribe, please enter your information below. If you choose html format you will be able to enjoy some new videos. As always, if you have something to share, send it in. It may wind up center stage for all to see.

Enter your E-mail Address
Enter your First Name (optional)
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Dave's Funny World.


Return from Funny Excuses to Home page