Funny Euphemisms

The Cultural Dictionary defines euphemism as an agreeable word or expression substituted for one that is potentially offensive, often having to do with bodily functions, sex, or death. It is the act or an example of substituting a mild, indirect, or vague term for one considered harsh, blunt, or offensive.

We use these all the time even if we didn't know exactly what they were. It's human nature to use a less offensive word when describing anything or avoiding conflict.

Rather than saying he died, we say he passed away. This is softer yet get the same point across. Here are some funny categories of the funny euphemisms we use every day where spoken words are in play.

Euphemisms in The Olden Days

Euphemisms For Stupid People

Some examples are:

A photographic memory, but forgot to load the film

All his brain's marked "farm-fresh"

He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool

Her slinky's kinked

View the entire collection of these Euphemisms For Stupid People and use some of them as needed.

Euphemisms For Pooping

New parents, teenagers, construction workers and yes, even musicians use these all the time.

Here are some examples:

Catch Up On Some Reading

Committing Yourself To The Dumpatorium

Go Lose Some Weight

Making A Deposit In The Porcelain Bank

You can see the entire collection at Euphemisms For Pooping.

You'll probably be surprised at how many euphemisms exist for this daily activity.

Midnight Golfer Euphemism Skit

Euphemisms For Death

At a difficult time, you may need to use a euphemism to announce or to refer to someone's death.

Some of them may be light and funny.

Bought The Farm

Going To The Big ___(Whatever) In The Sky

Joined The Choir Invisible

Took A Harp

You can consider many of these replacements at:
Euphemisms For Death.

Euphemisms For Fat

Everyone uses some of these terms because they are a gentle way of saying someone is overweight....oh well....fat!.

Here are some examples:

Aisle Blocker

Chub Scout

Crisco Kid

Gravitationally Challenged

You can peruse the list at
Euphemisms For Fat.

Euphemisms For Flatulation

We've heard these all our lives. Can you remember your parents blaming the dog or having a barking spider in the room?
Here are some examples:

Puff The Magic Dragon

Who Fired That Shot?

One Man Salute

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

The extensive list is located at
Euphemisms For Flatulation.

Euphemisms For Boobs

Would you believe that these are used more than any other, for any part of the human body?

Here are some examples:


Love Melons


Flesh Bulbs

The entire list is located at
Euphemisms For Boobs.

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