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Dave's Funny World, Issue #001, September 2010 "Unleash The Laughs"
September 12, 2010

Dave's Funny World-Issue 1
September 2010



"Unleash The Laughs"


Welcome to the Launch of "Dave's Funny World". My goal has always been to create laughs and help people be funny. Statistics state that we average laughing 14 times a day.

Are you getting your daily quota under your belt. I hope so. I'm hoping that some of your laughs are coming from you-can-be-funny.com

Please continue sharing the website with friends and encourage them to receive our monthly newsletter. Subscribers will get several sneak peeks of material on the planning table and some surprises too.

Thanks to my wife, Jane and html buddy, Jerry Solomon, for getting the caricature ready for "Dave's Funny World".






Funny Material For Any Audience


The website, newsletter and material being developed is aimed at helping anyone in their pursuit of being funny. People seem to laugh the hardest when their eyes and ears are fed together.

From the very beginning, www.you-can-be-funny.com set as its goal to house the largest supply of funny material under one roof. Anybody who had to entertain any group could put together a routine from this site.

I'm developing some products that will enable anyone to host a party, meeting, ceremony, etc. and offer entertainment without costing hundreds or thousands of dollars.

You, the readers, will get your hands on these first. I will probably need your feedback before they hit the marketplace. More to come on this endeavor later.




Table Of Contents


What's Brand New?

Commentary: "What Is Funny?"

Medicine Mixing Alert

Has It Been Hot?

"Unleash The Laughs" Videos

A Good, Free Downloadable Joke E-book

The Economy Is Affecting Everyone

The Rare Coton De Tulear

This Will Make You Think

Gag Gift of the Month




What's Brand New?


The biggest event in our life this year was the arrival of our new grandchild. Yes, I'm the Proudest Grandpa in the country.

Here's a few pictures of Audrey Madison, born April 25. She is my dose of "Daily Joy".

I love being able to hold and spoil her everyday.

Here she is in the nursery, just hours old.



This girl is really picking up the pace. This picture was taken at 6 weeks.



3 months old. "I like the camera!"



3 months old. "Toys are great!"



4 months old. Practicing for the Laugh With Dave Comedy Night later this fall.



"Laugh With Dave" Comedy Night


For those of you who live near the Piedmont Triad of North Carolina, you will want to attend a fun-filled night like never before.

"Laugh With Dave" is being planned as I write. In the mid fall, the first 100 ticket holders will eat a great meal, then sit back and laugh for at least an hour.

I'm pulling out all the stops for this event. Yes, this program is on steroids.

The date is close to being locked in. Contact me for details and to reserve your seat for this event.






Commentary:
What Is Funny?


The dictionary defines funny this way:

As an adjective...

1. providing fun; causing amusement or laughter; amusing; comical: a funny remark; a funny person.

2. attempting to amuse; facetious: Did you really mean that or were you just being funny?

3. warranting suspicion; deceitful; underhanded: We thought there was something funny about those extra charges.

4. Informal . insolent; impertinent: Don't get funny with me, young man!

5.curious; strange; peculiar; odd: Her speech has a funny twang.

As a noun:

6. Informal . a funny remark or story; a joke: to make a funny.

7. funnies,

a. comic strips

b. Also called funny paper. the section of a newspaper reserved for comic strips, word games, etc.

I never realized that the word funny could be so volatile. I was made aware of its volatility by being fired from my job of 22 years over my website.

There was a handful of folks who did not interpret what was funny as I did and complained. My humor was deemed inappropriate and offensive.

Here is a baby picture of one that complained.





So, rather than accept a 22 week severance package and unplug the website, I reluctantly left the job and made the decision NOT to kill my website, you-can-be-funny.com, but to add to it every week.

I have received many emails from readers that state they have shared material from the website at family functions, planning meetings, music classes, etc. I've heard from folks of all ages that they use the website as a picker-upper after or during a hard day.

The Tuba Professor at the Paris Conservatory of Music contacted me sharing that he enjoyed the Tuba Jokes and so I helped him promote an International Competition to be held in Paris next year.

I've been giving presentations for over 20 years. The website grew out of those presentations.

I love seeing people of all ages bending over laughing at some funny picture or ridiculous video. I could not reduce the content of the website to the standards of those who find very little in life funny and never approach or meet the daily average of personal laughs.

I do value and honor my readers. In a year, I've had to tweak 2 of 10,000 pictures out of personal requests from readers. If any offense ever materializes, the delete button is only 3 inches away from my pinky.

So, enjoy the new things in this newsletter that will someday hit the website. I'm still convinced as always that You can be funny.




Medicine Mixing Alert


Here's the latest warning from Health Canada:

VERY IMPORTANT TO READ FOR THOSE WHO TAKE MEDICATIONS, ESPECIALLY AS WE AGE!

Most people know not to mix certain medicines without consulting their doctors. Some medicines cannot be mixed with certain foods.

And certainly most of us know not to mix certain medicines with alcohol. Although, some people think that mixing alcohol and medicine is harmless.

As a public service the AMA and Health Canada have recently published a new warning being distributed via pamphlets in pharmacies across the U.S. and Canada.

Attached is the cover jacket of one such pamphlet.

Never mix Beer with Viagra.



Never mix Rogaine with Viagra.






Has It Been Hot Or What?


We've had one of the hottest summers I can remember. We might just break the record of days over 90 degrees.

That's nothing compared to what some of these bikers have had to endure down under. Even the koalas are complaining and hitting the riders up for water to quench their thirst.






"Unleash The Laughs" Videos


I want to highlight a few videos that I've found recently. These should give you a good laugh and a moment to consider the importance of some things.

View these at Unleash The Laughs Videos.






Here's A Good Free Joke E-book





To get your free jokes go to:

All Free Joke E-books

Here's some samples from 101 Hilarious Jokes.


Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up," and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your mean ole cat."


When I was younger I hated going to weddings...it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped that crap after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

To which the Kuwaiti woman replied: "Land mines."


A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.

He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says:

"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, you creep. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?

What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?

It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the name of humor."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this. Mister, I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"


A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."

The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . ."

The man sighs and says, "It's started . . "






The Economy Is Affecting Everyone


Nobody is immune. This economy is having major effects on the entire population.

Businesses are spending as little as they have to. I'm in the painting business now, and definitely see the shift in what was the norm just 2-3 years ago in bids and contracts, is being handled in-house by many companies.

Even some of the top income producers in our country and the world are having to stoop a little to make ends meet.














The Rare Coton De Tulear
This Month's Friend Feature





I have a friend who has put together a great website on a dog I never knew anything about. Now, I'm a fan and may want to add one to my household someday.

Gale has gone the extra mile to put in front of you anything you would need or want to know about this breed.

The Rare Coton De Tulear

Getting information about the Coton De Tulear can be difficult and a little challenging. Gale decided to create this site because there just isn't enough information out there on this beautiful rare breed.

Her site is very educational and informational. You'll get the full story on training, the best names, favorite toys, safety tips, the breed history, Coton photos, grooming, skin problems, best dog foods, puppy and senior dog care, with even gifts included.

It's well worth the visit to experience Coton De Tulear Care.
Tell her Dave sent you.




This Will Make You Think


Do married people live longer than single people or does it just seem longer?

Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Is there another word for synonym?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why buy a product that it takes 2,000 flushes to get rid of it?

Does the reverse side have a reverse side?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why can't they make planes out of the same material that the indestructible black box is made of?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do we sing, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" when we're already there?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Can a stupid person ever be a smart-ass?




Gag Gift of the Month


I love giving this gag gift to my buddies who have crossed the 50 yard line. Giving this gift to the recipient in public usually brings the house down if it's introduced properly.

No longer will you wake up the next morning and have to clean stains off of the bathroom floor. With this handy Potty Night Light, you'll always aim right on target!

Just turn it on and watch it light up the bowl! It's also great for your wife! Keep it on, and it will prevent her from accidently falling in!

Check out this gag gift and several others that are most suitable for presenting that lucky person who has made it past 50.








I couldn't resist. Here's the picture that my wife used to create the caricature.






I'm busy adding new material into you-can-be-funny.com every week. Here's a way to keep up on just what's new as it's added.

The Funny Material Blog will take you to what's just been uploaded.

I love hearing from you. If you have any suggestions, ideas to share or just want to say hello, send me a note via Contact Me.

If you enjoy the website and newsletter, please do me the honor of referring us to a friend or colleague. We're just getting started!

Until the October newsletter...

YOU can be funny!

BLESSINGS,

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